I feel bad. I was paid £23 an hour to locum at Boots the Chemist in Belsize Park, on the saturday gone, which I did, and the manager there has phoned me up twice today to have a go at me. the first phone call at 11am she ranted at me about how
a) i didn't put the order through
b) that i didn't count the scripts
c) and left the dispensary in chaos.
In my defense, i told her that it was really busy, and that i didn't have time to do a) and b), and i actually didn't think i did leave the dispensary in a mess - although i didn't say it. she said that wasn't an excuse. so that spoiled my mood for the day. and as if that wasn't bad enough, she phones me up again at 4pm, and has another go at me for not entering one of the controlled drugs i dispensed into the CD register. Fuckin' ell, what next? is she going to phone me up again tomorrow and have a go at me for something else? i'd better make sure i block the phone number. jeez louise, everybody makes mistakes, nobody's bloody perfect are they? so now i feel bad, and my neck's all tense, i bet that horrible woman's cursed me or something, and i'm glad i'm going to a Kung fu class tonight, kick some ass. ironically enough, i got a call from the agency almost straight after that second call, and i was absolutely certain that manager woman had called them up and slagged me off severely, plus banned me from working there from now on. but apparently she hasn't - well, at least not yet. still, i told the agency lady about it, and she didn't seem unduly concerned - or maybe she was just covering. or maybe she's heard worse. but i think there's just something about me and Boots, some kind of omen, some kind of sign saying that we weren't meant to go together.
Then the agency lady tried to get me to do another day at Boots for this Saturday, saying they were willing to pay loads of money again. and i can't believe i said i'd think about it, but you know, i am... let's see how i feel tomorrow. lets see if that manager lady calls me up again!

as a follow on from the previous post - yes, we went to the pub on heatwave thursday, and we sat outside, and it was nice. unfortunately we didn't sit there until closing time, as i would have liked, they all went home at about 8pmish. and you know, its not really been quite as warm since.

for Moyo's bday we went to La Finca near Angel, and salsa'd a bit. unfortunately it was all a bit crap, because all the gals from the department showed up, but almost none of them danced. The thing about salsa is that you can't really dance to it on your own or if you don't know the moves. and because they were all standing around gawping at the dance floor, i didn't dance much either. and besides which nobody asked me to dance - so i would have had to go around asking strange guys to dance, which i wasn't about to do in front of the lab gals. so they all left at about 11.30pm. and as i was all dressed up, i stayed behind and danced about four more dances, until at a little before midnight i made my departure, and walked all the way back to the flat.

sunday was spent by myself, i went to the big Costa cafe in Paperchase on Tottenham ct rd, its really nice there. later walked a bit along oxford st, bought a funky top, that i'll probably never wear (but hey, it was on sale), and watched Panic Room.

Panic Room:

Jodie Foster buys a house the size of a block of flats right by Central Park of New York (can't remember, east or west side), uh huh, yeah right... and moves in with her daughter, who looks uncannily like a young boy. Yada yada yada, action flick. I'd just had a ciabatta and a coffee ice gellate, so i was on the edge of my seat. i kid you not, there were a couple of moments there when my heart was literally in my mouth (that bit where she goes to get her mobile phone - whew). by the end of the movie, i was left feeling a bit sick. but otherwise, no it did not impact significantly with my life.

asked people to go to Brighton with my on my birthday next month, and i've managed to rustle up a posse of about 8, yay!

shall go to see starwars episode deux tomorrow, am strangely looking forward to it.

tonight, shall go to the RADA bar on Malet street opposite ULU, as a lab colleague of mine is doing a 'gig' there. actually, should probably go soonish, just noticed the time. Damn, i didn' think i'd take this long in the lab, i wanted to go eat something.

Got this damn ulcer in my mouth, its been there for almost a week now.

i am so very bored, this is what happens the minute i slow down and stop doing work, reality comes in and you realise you have no social life. on the plus side, i might be able to persuade the lab kids for an outing to the local pub this thursday, seeing as its supposed to be a mini heat wave (come and see it, come and see it, mini heat wave, only here for today!) and i'm always mentally moaning to myself about how i'm missing out on nice weather by never going out. if not the lab kids, then maybe just a couple of friends. or maybe just one. its weird, i can't seem to get my friends to get on with each other. well sure, they're civil and everything, but they won't really click, so i can't really seem to invite a bunch of good friends out together.
the other plus side is i'll be going out for the first time this month (stop laughing) this friday, my friend is having her 30th birthday, and she's going to celebrate at a salsa bar in angel, islington. i still can't decide what to wear, which is strange, as i seem to have clothes coming out of over stuffed drawers in my flat. also i have almost no eye makeup to wear, i don't even have a proper eye liner, and as for eye shadow, i've only got this dodgy greeny-white shimmery stuff. so perhaps no eye stuff this time. oh, that reminds me, have to get her a pressie. and a card. hmmm.

you know when its a slow week, when i'm writing this much.

will probably go and see the second star wars installment next week, as one of the new girls in the department wants to see it, and i'm not one to turn down any nights out.
i have to say i'm not terribly eager about seeing it though, the first one was fine, but hardly awe inspiring. i ended up falling asleep, and had to watch it a second time with my little brother. i think that helped somewhat, him being there, put me in the right frame of mind - this is a kids movie. i'm not even sure if i want to watch it with him this time. well, he's 13 now, just entering teendom, i don't think he'll be that keen on going out with his big sister anymore anyway *sniff*.

i called up amy last sunday, spoke to her for the first time in about five months. well, some friendships work better on an occassional basis. and I called her because if i hadn't, i would have practically spent the entire weekend without exchanging any dialogue with another person. we ended up chatting for about an hour or so, i think it was mostly me going on about what happened with gus the technician. y'know i hate to say this, but a part of me loves the whole situation, loves the fact that i've broken yet another poor schmuck's heart. little old, sad ol' plain me. But what can i say? if i were genuinely attracted to him it would have been a different story, but the fact is i'm not.
she's said she'll come over to see me this friday, but knowing her track record, i won't hold my breath. not meaning to sound bitter. but i'd rather space these social occassions out, rather than having everything happening all at once with loads of nothing whatsoever happening in between.

i was pre-menstrual yesterday. today, i'm not. i wanted to write that down, because i think that explains alot.

as a continuation of my last post about watching the video for 'Fight Club', yeah, i watched it, and yeah, i can see why people 'talked' about it like it was a piece of work, as opposed to being just a load of balls. but it didn't do anything for me, i mean, what's the need for all the violence? People? eh? and that thing where he finds out he has a split personality - hasn't that been done before? i'd like to see Panic Room, but i get the feeling that its just going to be another one of those films, that sounds good, but, like, isn't, y'know that i mean?

i haven't been up to anything this week, in fact yesterday i stayed the whole day in my flat, and almost drove myself insane. if you want some general advice from me about life, it would be: make friends. That would be good, don't be like me, be good, never judge people or think bad things about them, because they can see it, they really can.

and what's the latest with gus the technician? well, for the past few months he had been given an assignment to isolate some pure THC and other cannabinoid stuff from this block of resin he'd been given, for this company. i cannot honestly say i know what he's been up to during all this time, but it does look like he pretty much left it all until the last minute, as the 'deadline' was supposed to be last tuesday. so he'd been working on getting the stuff out almost solidly over the last week, but it looks like he'd had so many problems with all the equipment, that he's worked himself ill because he didn't think he'd be able to meet the deadline. and he didn't, actually. He came in late on tuesday, and was sent home, because apparently he looked terrible, and he hasn't been back since. do i feel sorry for him? yes, a bit. but then i can't understand why he couldn't do it... it doesn't sound terribly difficult, and if he couldn't do it he should have told the people straight out that there was a problem. Plus he just kept putting it off and putting it off. And now he's probably feeling suicidal because he thinks he's a huge failure, plus my rejection on top of it all. but people like that... what can you do really? i used to chat to him alot, and i'm sure i must have cheered him up on many occassions, but i can't now, knowing how he feels about me. heartless cow. no wonder i don't have any friends.

and the ironic thing is, i'm pretty much totally alone, all this weekend. aren't people funny things? i think i might have to go home and start calling people, make more of an effort in making friends.

well, i have been doing one thing this week, i've been writing a paper, which i've been a little dubious about, but it is almost near completion. its not perfect, not by my standards, i feel that some of the data is a little hokey, but i've told it as honestly as i could, and to the best of my abilities, and hopefully i can send it off by the end of the month.

so i went to see the Titan Arum yesterday at beeyootiful Kew gardens. unfortunately, when i went to see it the flower had already shut shop, as it had opened up on wednesday three days ago, and as the pictures would appear to show, the flower's only really open for one day, and that goes for its infamous stench as well. and if you look at the pictures today, the phallic middle bit ( i don't know what that bit's called, sorry) has pretty dramatically deflated, emphasising its namesake. Amorphophallus titanum, means big deformed penis. what, you think i'm kidding?

Rented two videos as well, yesterday, in preparation of having nothing to do for Sunday (today) and Bank holiday Monday (how tragico!) both at the bargain price of £1 each, I rented Maybe Baby, and Fight Club. watched Maybe Baby yesterday, and I can tell you now that it is pretty crap. The story, is ok, and i don't know if it would have been better if they had got a different set of actors in, but the acting was wooden quite frankly, and i like to think of myself as being fair. But i do have to say Rowan Atkinson was pretty damn funny, as the gyneacologist.

I finally had a kind of proper talk with gus the technician, the guy who seems to have a worryingly major crush on me. He'd phoned me up on my mobile last night, and ironically enough I was in my flat using the laptop he'd given to me. it was obvious he was depressed and was just looking for an excuse to talk to me, but i finally set him straight - i don't feel the same way about you, do you want the laptop back, i don't want anything from you, and i don't want to feel like i owe you anything, i think we should keep our relationship purely professional. and then he was going on about how i was in a different league from him, and how i'd cheered him up, i'll stop, because its cringeworthy stuff. But he did say how he had real problems socialising with people, and how he'd only ever had one girlfriend in his twenties, which was probably more information than i needed to know. I somehow find it hard to believe he even had that one. i do feel sorry for him though, you know how there are some people who you wonder if they'll ever find anyone who'll want to go out with them? well, he's one of them.

So, there. I hope I have set him straight. Lets see what happens now, i guess.

so i was just thinking, i don't update that often. I came to the conclusion that this is a good thing, means i have a life. unfortunately i seem to have days where everything happens at once, so i have to decide which event to participate in, and which event to miss. and then there are days where nothing happens, quite a few days, infact. I mean, wouldn't it be nice, if these events would spread themselves out, ie one event per day - no lots of nothing doing days, no missing stuff.

A couple of girls left the department today, one was only here for 3 months (erasmus student), the other, who was lovely, was here for 6 months. i spent £30 (and about 1.5 hours of my time - time is money! - and yes i'm a bit slow) buying them t-shirts and cards (which i fully expect people from the department to chip in on), which was worth it, with the happy fuss they made when they got them. yes, they left, and now its all new people taking their places. it was emotional.

i've sent off an abstract of a poster i'd like to present at a conference in barcelona, literally a day before the deadline. My supervisor, who i now think of as a really nice, cool guy, was really nice about it when I asked him if I could go. I had spent the weekend drafting out a possible abstract i could send off, in preparation to show my super on monday (as he had been away for a few days). when I showed him it, he decided that he didn't want to have those results shown on the poster, but instead of just saying, sorry, you can't go, he cooked up some other abstract that i could send off. in fact i didn't even have to write the abstract, as the abstract was about a more broader topic on a project that is looked after by another person Paul, who was really nice about it and wrote an abstract out for me! He literally wrote it out that Monday, and we went and posted it at 5.30pm that evening. I would have been optimistic about the abstract being accepted, except that Tuesday (30/4/2) is the deadline, i don't know how these guys define their deadlines, as knowing my luck, the abstract probably won't get to them until next week. Also, Paul noticed later that he hadn't filled out one of the sections of the application form properly, he'd accidently missed out one of the authors, and i hadn't noticed it. so, i'm not so optimistic. but whatever happens happens, and whatever happens, i'm pretty certain that i'll be paying Barcelona a visit anyhow.