You know, it is almost November, and my agency has still not found me any work in Australia, what the hell does that mean? I was so bloody confident that they'd find me something by now. But then again, maybe it means I'll spend christmas here. That won't be so bad really, I suppose. I guess really I'm just afraid of life just sliding by, and before I know it I'll be this old lady who'll look back with regret on this life I was given and squandered on doing nothing but sitting at home and watching tv.

Some people make friends effortlessly, others, such as myself have to really work at it. Its obviously a personality thing, but whereas before I used stay awake at night wondering why, now I know, but I can't do much about it, so I've accepted it. I've come to the conclusion that I can't be something I'm not, and even if I tried, people can still generally see there's something not quite on there anyway. So I have friends, but they're not really close friends, and quite diffuse. Which isn't to say that I wouldn't spend hours on the phone about a personal problem with anyone of them if I needed to, because I would, and that's why I consider them friends. But I don't really have friends I see on a weekly basis, which I suppose is the normal thing. And when I do go out with them, its usually to do something bland and uninspiring, like eating in a restauraunt, or watching a movie. I suppose I'm a bit of a freak that way, but there are a lot of freaky people out there really, and I quite like the idea that I'm not some cuddly cheerleader type. But thats it, you see, that's my life. And I could so easily just stay here, my work is just so easy, and the time just goes by so quickly, if I stayed and did nothing, I can easily imagine 10 years going by in a blink of an eye. And what a stale existence that would be.

Now I think I might give my part time friend a call, and later on I might give in and subscribe to match.com.