I'm working in Bedford Hospital now, have been for just over a week. This whole job seemed to have happened quite quickly, but no one seems to have commented on that much. I thought I was so organised trying get myself on an evening class in Bedford, my latest passion, but I still couldn't get myself on a Spanish course, which is apparently doubly over booked at Bedford College. Which was heaving with scary looking ASBOs incidentally, when I walked over to the campus to try and register. Were these really all students? It was like being back at Preston Manor High School. And then when I walked over the River Ouse after work, in the dark, surrounded by traffic, the river had a couple of swans in it, but its banks were clogged with sodden trash. So Bedford, not that nice after all. Or perhaps it's just not far enough away from London.
How about Celebrity Big Brother? After seeing it on all the news channels on Thursday, I found myself riveted and watching every crappy little play and edited replay Channel 4 showed us on the TV. I thought the entire thing was brilliant, a perfect reflection of a certain aspect of modern British life which has never been portrayed in such an inarguably crystal clear aspect. The certain aspect of racial taunting that all non-whites living in this country have to suffer in some form or other, but which the natives will never admit to. There are actually a couple of girls at work who remind me of Jade and Co, although girls like that are pretty much everywhere. I find myself worrying slightly that I don't do something to piss them off otherwise I might find myself being bullied by them, which is pretty silly, but that's the way it is out there, it's all dog eat dog.
The last week at work I have not actually done any real work, instead the managers insist that I spend all that time learning how to dispense and check prescriptions. They gave me a log sheet, where I had to make a note of every item I checked and dispensed, which I then needed to have countersigned by another pharmacist on completion. Which seemed extraordinary, I can't believe I spent the entire week doing that. And the whole time they were paying me locum rates by the hour.
My FPGEE studying is actually going not too bad, I'm making progress re-reading my 10 year old notes, and finding most of it still pretty relevent to what I do today. And this time round, everything makes so much more sense, whereas back then, it was like inpenetrable biblical script. I'm finding 10 year old gaps in my professional knowledge finally being filled, links being made, mild epiphanies as I flick through those pages I laboriously copy wrote but had not previously taken in. It's slightly scary actually, I probably shouldn't broadcast it. Plus I've registered for a TOEFL test in February, AND I've done my tax return, so I'm feeling fairly virtuous. Although I haven't sent the tax return off yet, just in case some other useful mathematical amendment comes to mind.

It's my 4th day back in London, and I'm still on Seattle time. The 1st day I woke up at 2 pm. This morning I made the slight improvement of waking up at 12.15 pm, to the call of my agent who keeps dangling these mouth-watering job propositions in front of me but never seems to be able to deliver. This time it's Oxford or Bedford. Two fords in one go, it is clearly a sign of something. Or other. Now I'm procrastinating, thinking about who else I can badger via text or e-mail, and as soon as I work out how msn works, messenger as well. I did get one social phone call though, from my Singaporean friend Daphne who's living in Boston at the moment; we're meeting up tomorrow for dinner and jazz. Hallelujah, so my social life isn't a complete bust.
I'm trying to study for my Foreign Pharmacy Exam for the USA this June. My initial method is to go through all my university notes from 10 years ago and flick absentmindedly through them, and hope all the information will seep into my brain like osmosis. Then if this doesn't work I'll go back and actually try and read and shit. The good thing is that trying to figure out how to get work in the US is finally coming together. Whereas before I didn't know what the heck I was doing. Now it's whether or not I'm doing the right thing. God knows.

Just coming back from 3 weeks in Seattle, I am now in state of flux, in a surreal non-world where I'm disassociated from outside real life. On one hand I long for attention and invitations, on the other hand I feel uninspired and want to be left alone. I am however inspired to study for the Foreign Pharmacy Exam for the USA, finally, after 4 months. I really have a lot to do... but still wish some one would call me.